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Thursday, April 3, 2014

101 Thoughts Office Workers Have Pretty Much Every Day

* wakes up * God, I’m already exhausted.

Comedy Central

1. * wakes up * God, I'm already exhausted.

2. Hurry up, can't be late.

3. What if I was late? What would happen?

4. Nothing, probably.

5. Ahhh crap, I'm gonna be late.

6. Ha! Just made it, not late.

7. * turns on computer * Woah, so many emails.

8. How did I get so many emails since I left for work?

9. Ughhhh, I don't want to answer these.

10. What did people do before email? Just stare at papers?

11. I need coffee.

12. I'll just go on a coffee break, then I'll answer my emails.

13. Why is there never any coffee in the pot?

14. I guess I'll just have to make it myself.

15. * hums internally *

16. Now, creamer or milk?

17. What is creamer made of anyway? Why does it never expire?!

18. I'm hungry.

19. What should I eat for lunch? Ughhh, it's only 10, lunch is so far away.

20. Are there any snacks lying around here?

21. Is it too early for a snack?

22. It's too early for a snack.

23. Now what? Oh yes, work.

24. ACK! There are more emails than there were before!


25. I wonder who's on gchat?

26. What did people do before gchat? Email chain letters?

27. Oh no, too many gchats windows.

28. What time was my meeting again?


30. We really do have a lot of meetings around here.

31. Does everyone have this many meetings?

32. Is adulthood just one giant meeting?!

33. * drawing doodles on notepad * How much longer is this meeting?

34. I need to pee.

35. Am I allowed to leave to pee during this meeting?

36. Should I raise my hand?

37. Oooo, it's almost lunch.

38. Ugh, what do I want for lunch?

39. I should eat a salad.

40. I don't want to eat a salad.

41. Why are salads so expensive?

42. I should really start packing my lunch, it will save so much money.

43. Nevermind, I'll just go to the same place I always do.

44. Am I boring?

45. Is no one else weirded out by the fact that we're all just supposed to work 40 hours a week for the rest of our lives until we're too old to work?!

46. I think I need new pens, these ones don't write as well as my old ones.

47. And I should really get some new Post-Its too.

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