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Saturday, March 15, 2014

The Definitive Ranking Of Hamantaschen Fillings

Sorry, poppy seed lovers.



Matzoh is to Passover what hamantaschen are to Purim, the Jewish holiday that commemorates the Jews foiling a plot by the villainous Haman, advisor to King Aẖashverosh, to destroy them, courtesy of Mordecai and his adopted daughter — and eventual queen — Esther.


And on Purim — which this year is celebrated from sundown on Sat., March 15 to sundown on Sun., March 16 — Jews eat hamantaschen, triangular scone-like pastries with various fillings, which resemble Haman's three-cornered hat. It is our effort to proverbially drink Haman's milkshake, if you will.


In recent years, hamantaschen bakers have branched out and they're now filled with everything from gummy worms to cookie dough, and goat cheese to peanut butter and jelly.


But traditionally, they were a whole lot simpler. Below is a ranking of those classic hamantaschen fillings, from worst to best.


Al Barry / Hulton Archive / Getty


Poppy seed


Poppy seed


Poppy seeds are actually the most traditional hamantaschen filling. But let's be real. They best belong on another Jewish carb: bagels. Also, in one massive heap like this, they look like caviar. No thank you.


Jacob Grove / Via Flickr: artnchicken


Fig


Fig


There are few desserts I turn down: Fig Newtons are one of them. The grainy consistency of this fruit in preserve form is only slightly more pleasant to the palate than that of the poppy seeds. Sure, they're sweeter, but they still make for pretty schlocky 'taschen.


Olga Massov / Via Flickr: sassyradish


Prune


Prune


I have no problem with plums. But the idea of them shriveled up is not something I can get behind. And visually, who wants to eat that? However, Passover is coming up and prunes could really come in handy in a binding situation, if you know what I'm saying.


Miriam Chin / Via Flickr: chinkypin




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