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Feminist- and queer-owned sex shop Babeland regularly hosts themed workshops in its Seattle and New York stores. I decided to stop by the SoHo location to see what I could learn.
Babeland
Let's start with this most basic fact, since it's the first question I was asked by anyone who got wind of my plans. My experience of "The Art of Great Sex" includes no sex — not simulated among its attendees, and not demonstrated by its educators. It is a decidedly hands-off venture, salacious but still somehow formal. The whole affair is academic, even. After checking in at the door, we are directed toward four rows of folding chairs, each set with a pen and some literature (Babeland's official Sex Bill of Rights with commandments like "Own your own orgasm," a supplementary "Yes/No/Maybe" worksheet for at-home exploring with your partner, and an entry form for a massage candle giveaway), and the people who fill those seats will take studious notes as the evening progresses, occasionally raising a hand to ask a question. It's like sex ed, redux.
Of the 25 attendees, only four are men. Of the women, only two are there alone. I am one of them, and both of us take seats at the edge of separate aisles, making a point to seem especially engrossed in the reading material. The majority of the women have arrived in little groups, and I am immediately envious. It's already clear that I've overestimated my level of comfort, and I'm yearning for a familiar face to ease the tension. I text my boyfriend: "On second thought, maybe you should have come?"
But then our leaders arrive, and I can tell we're in good hands. The class is led by two young women. One dressed in a light black dress with lace accents and thigh-high nylons, and sporting impeccably winged eye liner; the other wears a more conservative pink sweater and jeans. They are both warm, welcoming, and fluent in the language of sex positivity, rattling off the plan for our two-hour evening with ease: We'll talk about communication, toys, oral techniques, role-playing, anal sex, group sex, rough sex, and miscellaneous kinks, with a 15-minute intermission somewhere in the middle. There is no such thing as perfect sex, we're told, but by the end of this, great sex will be in our reach. I'm enchanted by the confidence and candidness of these women. They are, in a way, everything I want to be. How does one become an adult sex educator? I wonder. What's the money like in that?
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