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The latest salvo in the playing-with-yourself-is-evil propaganda war.
This is the time of year when optimistic young people are applying for university. So it's worth knowing that at Brigham Young University-Idaho, they take masturbation very seriously.
The private college is affiliated with the Church of Latter Day Saints and claims to "create a wholesome learning environment in which students can strengthen their commitment to their faith and receive a quality education".
What they don't want to provide an environment where wanking is OK.
BYU-Idaho President Kim B. Clark feels so strongly about male students making themselves impure that he's put together an inspirational video.
In the video, this student is "addicted to pornography" and has "darkness in his eyes". Shockingly, his "room-mates know but they do nothing to help".
He is "spiritually wounded on the battlefield of the great war", according to President Clark.
Continuing the military theme, we then see our poor wank-addict as an actual fallen soldier. Do his comrades help him or not?
"The enemy whispers, don't get involved, don't be a tattle-tale," says Clark. "Talk to your bishop, tell someone that you have a friend in trouble."
And of course, because this man's brave friend told someone in authority about his masturbation, all is well and they now share tender moments across pool tables.
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